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The Oranjestad Secret Police, in cooperation with A Vague, Yet Menacing, Government Agency, would like to remind you that here in Oranjestad, no one is eating each other. They remind you that this is a friendly reminder. The Secret Police added their assurance that they see no reason to alert us to the not-at-all increasingly-common practice of grill parties and consensual cannibalism.
“It’d be pretty terrible of us to conceal that, right?” a heavily cloaked spokesperson said, distractedly, deeply engrossed in a game of Angry Birds on his or her iPhone 11 Pro. “But listen! The important thing here is that we are not– hang on…Darn! –warning or alerting anyone, and I think you should remember to thank us for that.”
The cloaked figure then double-tapped his or her phone and a horse rose up from the floor beneath him or her, and they flew off into the sky.
Fortunately, Oranjestad has been a Gluten-Free Zone for years now, after nebbers read a dubious blog called "Mommy Monday's" about a correlation between gluten consumption, vaccines, and obesity.
On an unrelated note, neb was also introduced to Glammer-Jammer® eyelid jewelry parties and their revolutionary Facebook-based 'reverse funnel system' selling structure by the same blog. He's proud to say he's hosted 7 parties of his own and has sold $45 in products and convinced a friend to be a seller for him as well. Meanwhile, he still has $7000 worth of merchandise piled in his garage he still needs to sell.