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Sammiches822
Arbiter
Okay. I haven't been honest with all of you. But this is literally killing me on the inside and I love all of you too much. Many years ago, when I first joined, I was asked by a certain server owner (who also happens to be my favorite son) how old I was because I had not included my age in my application, instead talking about how awesome and proficient I am at building. At the time, in December of 2012, I was 12. However, when replying to said server owner, I totally went blank, had a finger spasm, and typed 14. Not my real age. I was going to correct myself, but something hit me; on previous servers, such as Silocraft, I had seen first-hand how terrible people my age were treated and patronized. I thought, "Is this really the best decision, to correct myself?" I decided otherwise. Big mistake. I led a double life, exactly the same as my actual life, except two years older. Having to lie about my age whenever someone on the server asked carved a massive chunk out of my rotten little heart, said chunk being curb-stomped and maced in the eyes in the process. It's been killing me on the inside, so I wanted to tell all of you beautiful people. Aside from a stupid number, everything you know about me is true; my location, name, friends, stories, issues, interests, sexuality, crushes, even my selfies. Granted, it's only 2 years, but it's a lot for me. It could be worse for you, though. I could be a forty-three year old obese man who eats hand sanitizer and lives in his parents' basement. But we can get to that side of me later. I just wanted you all to know. To make things clear, I am a forty-three year old obese man who eats hand sanitizer 14 year old turning 15 in exactly a month. To everyone who has trusted me, divulged in me, and had sex with me, I am sorry, but I hope we continue to share that amazing relationship. If not, well, that's sad. But I will learn to live without you. Buy my autobiography @ http://goo.gl/9rvGBy
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Not that I don't want to take you seriously, because I do, but so much of what you say is satire I don't know what to believe at this point.I'll just go with the new story you are presenting me since I am a mindless sheep who doesn't know any better.4
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I can't imagine this was easy at all, so thank you for sharing not only this challenge but the amazing energy, talent and one-in-a-million personality that you share with us on a regular basis.Personally speaking, though I'm sure many will agree, this changes nothing about how I feel or think about you. You're still a tyrannical leader of a soulless empire and always will be!Now please stop letting your rotting little black heart get curb stomped and maced in the eyes. k? thx.
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MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE! nah not really. it's k. just... keep doing Sammich things. :P1
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Wow what a truely amazing and inspirational post that you have shared. If I could I would give you the goldest star that would blind anyone that looks at you but that's not enough considering the trauma you've been through. Nothing's changed about you in my eyes also is this the real reason why you wanted a divorce? 3
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Had to check the analytics before clicking that link... sorry!-4
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Right, I haven't known you for long, oh great overlord. But believe me when I say this, in life - age is just a number. Even more so in MC.
Being older doesn't automatically define you as being a better builder or a better person, or a better anything really. It just means how many years you have left until you need to start paying bills. Oh sweet noddles, the bills!
So back to topic, even though I barely know you, the fact that you just did what you did means my respect for you just shot through the roof and killed an innocent bird on the way.
So there's that.
You just keep being you, the great overlord we all know and fear.
And if life gives you lemons, channel Cave Johnsson.
http://bit.ly/1IJQOpz (It goes to Youtube, don't worry.)
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YOU'RE A PHONY. HEY EVERYONE! THIS GUYS A BIG FAT PHONY!!Dude how do you think I feel being [redacted] years old? And I can't build for shit despite being [redacted] years older than you.. you'd think after playing on this server for 5 years I'd figure it out by now. Age ain't a thing but a chicken wing.4
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@Mieshoa no, i wanted to divorce you because i dont love you like i did and our marriage is sexless7
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Also, samm, I realized this make you my brothers age. That sorta freaks me out.1
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As long as you keep being the normal sammich, I'm fine with this.2
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@Vetous I am your brother2
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http://theshire.forumcommunity.net/?t=53074776I also lied about my age when I joined. Was probably 11 or 12 when I applied and always thought 13 was the accepted age on the internet. I went on for around 1-2 years before telling people my real age and I received unexpected response with many saying that they were surprised with my age, but of course it made me more confident and realization that age don't matter, only how you present yourself. I'm surprised but don't mind that I'm like 4 months and 11 days older than you. What were you thinking when you knew my age though?
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In the short time that I've known you sammich, you've been a great guy : o Age really is just a number nowadays. People are molded by their experiences, and you simply acted according to the experiences you had.
If anything, that shows wisdom. You avoided the conflict right there and then. And opening up now and speaking the truth takes guts! I'm glad you spoke your mind to everyone now : o
You're cool the way you are Samm! And a good Sammich in my book of noms! So bon appetit and looking forwards to many more giggles and tours from you \o
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I will not accept you now; but only because i didn't accept you before either after you ruthlessly brokeded my heart by leaving me that one time when i was all alone on the server </3Perhaps in a minute or two I'll get over it, but until then, scru u m9.UPDATE: it's been THREE minutes and im still not over it; i must really be madUPDATE 2: Okay; a whopping five minutes later and I'm good now. Luv u sambitch; you're the only bitch for me, and i accept your new truthsEDIT: I never had to lie about my age because I'm an old fart and such, but I appreciate your honesty in admitting to your lie, took a lot of heart. I'm just surprised your black little shriveled one was able to do the job!ADDENDUM: also; pls change your skype image it makes me want to pukePS: you really should have told me before we made a love cave :'( now it feels creepy[er]2
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@Sammiches822 but... I've got beauty, I've got class, I've got style and I've got ass! Why don't you love me the same?!
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I guess now's a good time to admit I'm really 53 and it's all okay cause age is just a number right? Thx4
