SGN A Day in the Life: Robert Dunner

Sammiches822

SGN A Day in the Life

Actors, music stars, and cultural icons. We know their stories, we know their lives. But how about the normal, blue-collar Shirefolk who help keep the wheels of our society smoothly rolling? This week, our search for an interviewee led us to Potatovale, home of Robert Dunner. Sit back, and enjoy as Robert narrates a typical day in his life and gives us a taste for the insignificant side of life.

"My life? Well, it's pretty normal, I suppose! Nothing like the glitz and glamour of the movie-folk. Nope. I work at the Kim Jong Un Root Beer Factory, making a semi-decent amount of money to support my wife and two kids. Bet you haven't heard that before, haha! Anyway, my daily routine...

I usually get up at 4AM. I don't have to actually wake up until 4:30, but I like to spend that precious 30 minutes screaming. I would wait until breakfast, but that's when the rest of my family screams and the house can get pretty noisy. After I scream, I take a shower in the milk our government provides and get dressed in my uniform. By then, my wife is awake and begins to cook breakfast, which takes about 30 more minutes. It's now around 5:30, and I'll go and wake my kids up for school. We don't let them use alarm clocks since our government tells us they cause gonorrhea. Thank god they look out for us.

My kids take around an hour to get ready. I have a son and daughter; Maximus and Tartar, their government-assigned names (but we call them Max and Tar). They tend to bicker in the morning because they have to share sanitary wipes for their morning showers. Around 6:30, we're all seated at the table eating breakfast. My wife will ask me about the local sports teams, and I will say that the local sports teams are very good. After breakfast, we send our children off to the school run by the local beaver population, and I head off to work.

I usually take the scenic route to the Kim Jong Un Root Beer Factory, because Potatovale's collapsed chain-link fences and stray dogs are second-to-none in the Shire! At least I think, because our government doesn't let us know what other cities are like. As far as we know, the place called Oranjestad is always on fire and the people give birth to lizard-mutants, Laurelian worships a pagan lord named Tukmaihl and sacrifices women and children in his honor, and Fulfwotz has a crippling crime issue and a ruthless capitalist government, ruled by a degenerate named Sammich. Don't tell anyone, but I think they might be exaggerating.

Once I get to the factory, I clock in and receive my daily dose of heroin to boost productivity. I spend all day sealing caps on the bottles, while my friend and next person down the assembly line, Mike, spends his day removing the caps so the root beer can be put into the bottles. Every hour or so, my supervisor walks by and comments on the muscle tone of my neck. Sometimes he rubs the pad of his thumb against the back of my neck and tells me to trust my government. Which I do!

Around 1 PM is my lunch break. I go into the cafeteria and eat live snails off of the floor, because the government says that's what's best for our diet. Afterwards, we have the Two Minutes Hate, where we all scream at an image of progressive society. Sometimes people throw things, but I usually don't. It's back to the daily grind once again, and then I head home for dinner.

I help my children with their homework, which is usually constructing guns or bombs, which are collected by the Secret Police in the middle of the night. My wife Patsy is finished breathing on the dinner at 7, and once again we all sit at the table and talk about our days. About an hour later, the Secret Police enters our habitation block through the windows, and takes us in for our daily interrogation. I finally get some rest when the beatings knock me unconscious, and I wake up in my bed the next day! Well... That's my life! ♛

~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

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Gerald Xavier, Equos- aw i wanna live in potato vale lol

Marb Yit, Laurelian- Very interesting read !! My life have never known such pleasure until I began selling NEZ HAIR CARE PRODUCTS to my freinds and family. I make over 3,000/mo at HOME from my comptuer . I woke up @ 10 of the AM in this morning, am still in pajams haha. Ever since NEZ HAIR CARE PRODUCTS blessed me with a JOB, over 6,000 peple have added me on Face Book, including Mack Zackerbrug, creator of Face Book... I also reemerged from my menopause vibrancy and sexual. I HIGHLY recommend applying for a JOB from NEZ HAIR CARE PRODUCTS by visiting this link: http://nezhaircareproducts/scam/scam/xo Make no regrets sweetie, Every time xo

Julianne Voorhees, Knavobuki- haha reminds me of my life

Dominick D'Ugly, Athitica-  !!!!WARNING!!!! u cannot turn back now even if u read warning only!!! this night 12 yrs ago there was this girl and her name was Destiknee and she was bullied at schol so ONE DAy she kiled herself!!!! and she comes back evry night to kill her bulliess!!! if u dont post this comment on 10 othr pages she will mistake u for one of hr bullies and kill YOu tnight!!! dont evn risk it this is serios guys if u do post it on tenn otherr pages u will haev the best day of ur life tmrw and ur crush will kiss u OMG im being srsly 

nebbers

damn that was a good laugh

Hay

Pure art. lmao! Started laughing at "...spend that precious 30 minutes screaming" and didn't stop until I found out Marb Yit just lost himself his Laurelian citizenship.