Chester Wutborg's Picks for 2015

Sammiches822

:bz Chester's Picks :bz

It's that time of year again, SGN readers! The Bobbles is coming up! The Bobbles is the Shire's most premier award show for film, and airs next week on Saturday at 8pm! There's been so many good movies this year, and it's been a real treat to watch... most of them. As I do every year, I've chosen to review the three nominees for the prestigous Best Film of the Year award. The contenders are: Fulflet Sunrise, Follywood Vice, and Desiree and Debauchery. Let's hop to it!

Fulflet Sunrise

Fulflet Sunrise is set in the late 1990s, during the regime of communist leader Cedon Wexfield and the Fulflet Union. In the movie, siblings Colin and Tabatha Vickers must race against time to stop the Fulflet Union from dropping the infamous Ender Bomba on the city of Oranjestad, causing widespread damage and loss of life. Not only do they have to stop the Union from dropping the bomb, but they also have to learn to work together;  the two can barely tolerate one another, giving the movie some well-deserved comedic relief.

The Review

Fulflet Sunrise is a great movie if you're into action and suspense or bad movies. I felt very impartial towards it; how many times do I need to see two sweaty people run through a city street (with purpose)? The first half of the movie was fairly decent, both historically and scientifically accurate, but the second half totally botched it. Quincy Lomquist, who played Colin Vickers, made frequent eye contact with the camera, which made me somewhat uncomfortable in the theater. 

Another thing that bothered me was the relationship of the two siblings; it seemed that at some point through production, writer Giorgio Alphonse decided to make them romantic interests instead of related. This was then met with another alteration near the end of the movie, where they were siblings again and a silent brown-haired woman was introduced as Colin's love interest. This woman was almost immediately gunned down with a machine gun, but somehow appeared at the end of the movie again. How did she survive? Is she even playing the same character? Are Tabatha and Colin incest-crazed freaks or not? Literally none of these questions will be answered without an internet search. Needless to say, I and many others were very confused in the theater. 

I feel like it should also be pointed out that the task of preventing this weapon of mass destruction from being detonated fell on two insignificant people. Why was the entire military of Oranjestad not doing anything? How is it possible for these two to accomplish what they did? Again, none of these questions are answered. 

Finally, the rating of the movie is obviously a mistake, similar to the production of the entire movie itself. It says it's rated G, yet in the very ten minutes, you see seven scantily-clad prostitutes assault a bloody dwarf in an alleyway. While I was in the theater, I heard a group of young children behind me scream, before being led out by several counselors. I assumed it was a field trip for younger kids at the local summer camp, judging by their t-shirts. 

To answer the question on the movie poster, "Where will you be when the bomb falls?", I will not be in the theater.

Taking all of this information into account, I give this movie...

:bz :bz :bz :bz  Four Chesterbees out of Five!

Check back soon for my review on Follywood Vice!

~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

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Tyler Ramone, Acadie- they filmed a scene here in acadie. i dont know why.. it was a 5 second scene where they were running and they closed down all the major streets downtown for filming but didnt even film there

Vinny Packer, Oranjestad- this was such a great Documentary.

Lillian Pigeongirth, New Enderton- Chester What is the Govt not telling us. thank

Nola Bellox, Fulfwotz- my half sister played tabatha and shes a massive Bitch and i HATE HER !!

nebbers

I liked it, but I wish they filmed it on-site instead of using the green screen.  That said, the epic views of the CGI Oranjestad cityscape were breathtaking. 

Hay

This review only validates my decision not to let the film crew shoot one of Colin and Tabitha's weird romance scenes at Laurelian's flower temple at sunrise.

John117

I knew a guy who worked on the crew and he said that he had lunch from a chinese restaurant one time