Oranjestad Annexation Raises Alarms

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In a shocking move, Oranjestad city leaders have called for the annexation of its neighboring town to the east, Pennsy & Monon.  The annexation would increase the Oranjestad land area by a fifth, and link the city to Petra in the East and College of the Minds to the south.

The City Council met in secret in December on whether to absorb the area of Puck County adjacent to the city. The motion was unanimously passed and, in a bold assertion of Oranjestad's quasi-dictatorial powers, the area was agreed to be annexed on Jan 25th, without consulting any residents of the affected area or adhering to any federal regulations. 

Pennsy Ranch homeowner Melissa Cerillo is among many residents who live in a neighborhood that, until yesterday, was just outside the city limits.

"We are opposed to it," she said. "We are actually considering moving out of the area just to be on the outskirts of annexation."  An Oranjestad official, lurking in the shadows, interrupted the interview with Cerillo, and ominously reminded her that moving out of Oranjestad is considered 'most unwise'.  He drew his index finger across his throat, and then quickly disappeared behind some bushes.

Oranjestad City Official Mike Dugan commented that while tax money is a driving factor behind annexation, it is not the primary goal. Since most of Pennsy & Monon is settled on a flood plain, it will never be developed into anything other than a quiet residential community.  "We're really looking for more land for.... reasons."  Dugan did not elaborate, but conspiracy theorists suspect Oranjestad is expanding its territory to further its City-State ambitions.

City Officials have already decreed that the name Pennsy & Monon will be abandoned.  A new name is still being decided, though the shortlist includes Basom, Chocolate Town, LMLYP, and Mononucleosis.

In other news, Oranjestad announces a brand new state-of-the-art TopGolf® Driving Range on the north side of the Aboite neighborhood, totally not in an effort to distract citizens from the annexation drama.  See?  It's right here.  Isn't it great?  Isn't it?   

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Gabrielle Roach, Oranjestad "I'm all for 19th century style land grabs - whatever it takes to put those savages down".

Ralph McCreed, Oranjestad "I've never been outside Oranjestad (I'm 50 years old) - now I'll get to explore new areas and still keep my claim to fame!"

Gerald Gerald, Oranjestad "I think it is terrible - Shame on Oranjestad for what theyr--- [whack] [thud] Oranjestad City Official "Nothing to see here... move along".