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Oranjestad Leader Disappears

nebbers
nebbers Lord
edited June 2016 in Shire Global News

Oranjestad's lieutenant governor said Monday night that neither he nor Lord Nebbers’ closest staff members know where the leader is and that nebbers' office refused his demand to talk. 

Lt. Gov. Heimlich Hayes, who was elected separately from Lord Nebbers, issued a statement to SHIRE GLOBAL NEWS after a day of frenzied national speculation about Nebbers' whereabouts. 

Hayes said he called Neb's office Monday and requested an “immediate phone conversation with His Lordshipfulness.” 

“That request was denied because the Lord’s chief of staff does not know where the governor is, and has not communicated with the governor since he left the Oranjestad Metropolitan Area 4 weeks ago,” Hayes said. “I cannot take lightly that his staff has not had communication with him for 28 days, and that no one, including his own family, knows his whereabouts.” 

But Nebbers spokesman Saucy Sawyer issued a statement late Monday night saying that the governor was “hiking along the Sammichian Trail,” the first word on Neb's location since he was seen departing the Oranjestad neighborhood Aboite sometime in early May. 

“I apologize for taking so long to update you guys, and was waiting to see if a more definitive idea of what part of the trail he was on before we did so,” Sawyer said in the statement. 

Yet asked if he had spoken with Nebbers, Sawyer said: “No, not today.” 

And the spokesman wouldn’t say where on the approximately 2,175-mile long trail Nebbers is.

“We're not discussing location, other than to say he's on the trail,” Sawyer said. "He's definitely not in Fulfwotz gambling away taxpayer dollars and drinking himself into a deep depression, if that's what you're thinking." 

As for Hayes’s accusation, Sawyer shot back: “We actually just tried to call the Lt. Gov., and he didn't call back, so maybe he's the one who is missing, AM I RIGHT?” Sawyer proceeded to high-five several members of the press.

The extraordinary back-and-forth between the state’s top two officials is suffused with politics. Nebbers and Hayes have a distant relationship and Hayes is positioning himself to run for Lord next year, when nebbers is term-limited out of office.

Nebbers has not endorsed in that contest but has offered kind words for one of Hayes’s potential primary opponents, Homestar Port-area state Rep. Haley Bo'Bailey. There is speculation that the pro-despotism House may attempt to pass an amendment to override the six year term-limit, but no bill has been presented to-date.

Earlier Monday, Sawyer said that before the Lord left town last month “he let staff know his whereabouts and that he'd be difficult to reach.”  

“Should any emergencies arise between the times in which he checks in, our staff would obviously be in contact with other state officials as the situation warrants before making any decisions,” said Sawyer. 

Nebbers' "Intimacy Coach and Deep Tissue Masseuse" Jenny also told The Associated Press Monday that she was unconcerned and that the Lord is “writing something and wanted some space to get away from the nagging voters.”

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