BREAKING NEWS - PAARSDAM PRIME MINISTER RESIGNS OVER DUTCH LANGUAGE BLUNDER - THE PAARSDAMER REPORTS

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Shocking news from the Republiek today, as it has become evident to every citizen of the city who actually speaks Dutch, that the word for "purple" in Dutch is not actually "Paars", but in fact "Purpur". A mob took to the streets upon making the discovery, and marched upon the newly finished St. Nebbers Basilica, screaming for justice, and for RNGesus to strike down the shameful Prime Minister (who shall not be named in this article). The Prime Minister then stopped his address to the congregation, and with a twinkle in his eye, walked outside, laid down on the ground, and allowed himself to be thrown into the sea, from whence he will never return. Community architect and motivator Wuggeh has agreed to hold the position of interim PM until elections are finished.

When asked about her opinion on the issue, a local boat captain shrieked at our reporter, smeared purple paint all over her face, and hid in the corner whispering "Purpur, purpur, purpur," to herself repeatedly while tucked in the fetal position.

Many believe this misunderstanding of the Dutch language was in fact a sign from RNGesus, and as the Republiek grows and rapidly gains influence in the Western sea, there will be similar hiccups to come in our state's development. As for our name, a proposal has swept through Parliament, and as of today, the new name of our country is De Republiek van Oranje en Purpur. The city of Paarsdam will continue to be named such, as it is now understood as "Pairs-dam" or "Couples-dam". And I guess people are alright with this, for now.
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Last updated 15 August 2017 17:18 UTC