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MORE BREAKING NEWS - Prime Minister Wuggeh "embarrassed" over "Viceroy of Caffa" war declaration
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Wuggeh0
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Today, Prime Minister Wuggeh of the Republic of Orange and Purple issues an admittance of mistaken identity over the leadership of the Western city of Caffa, after NSE Emperor Sammiches822 stated, "there is no Viceroy of Caffa".
Critics of the statement responded that there is a governing body in the NSE city and Emperor Sam is downplaying and delegitimizing the existence of that body. However, Wuggeh denied that the Emperor's statement was Orwellian, saying, "No, no. He's definitely right. I messed up on this one, guys. It was a bad call on my part. Sorry." He then wiped sweat off his brow and looked down at the papers on his podium, trying not to cry into the microphones.
Meanwhile the war declaration itself comes into question, as it was made purely on the part of the Prime Minister without the acceptance of Parliament. The Republic will continue to remain on high alert, as the alliance with Laurelian is top priority in these difficult times, but according to opposition spokesperson Jan Bakker, "There is no war until we say there is a war. Or until Laurelian says there is a war. Or until Emperor Sammiches says there is a war. Really, anyone except the Prime Minister. What a fool."
Still, the military warns civilians to remain vigilant and prepare for notice of attack. The air defense garrisons of Paarsdam and Groenevelden have been raised, as well as all fortress garrisons of the Republic. The navy still remains on high alert for air and sea attack. General mobilization is currently underway, beginning with volunteer forces.
Critics of the statement responded that there is a governing body in the NSE city and Emperor Sam is downplaying and delegitimizing the existence of that body. However, Wuggeh denied that the Emperor's statement was Orwellian, saying, "No, no. He's definitely right. I messed up on this one, guys. It was a bad call on my part. Sorry." He then wiped sweat off his brow and looked down at the papers on his podium, trying not to cry into the microphones.
Meanwhile the war declaration itself comes into question, as it was made purely on the part of the Prime Minister without the acceptance of Parliament. The Republic will continue to remain on high alert, as the alliance with Laurelian is top priority in these difficult times, but according to opposition spokesperson Jan Bakker, "There is no war until we say there is a war. Or until Laurelian says there is a war. Or until Emperor Sammiches says there is a war. Really, anyone except the Prime Minister. What a fool."
Still, the military warns civilians to remain vigilant and prepare for notice of attack. The air defense garrisons of Paarsdam and Groenevelden have been raised, as well as all fortress garrisons of the Republic. The navy still remains on high alert for air and sea attack. General mobilization is currently underway, beginning with volunteer forces.
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THE IMPERIAL EYEWITNESS
Emperor Sammich Proposes Ceasefire
Following the Republic of Paarsdam's declaration of war late last night and the ensuing diplomatic blunder in which the PM Wuggeh demanded that the "Viceroy of Caffa" surrender the city, Emperor Sammich has proposed a ceasefire to what's now being called the "Fourteen-Hour War". The statement from the Office of the Emperor reads:
"The Imperial people are tired of war and only want peace within the Shire. This declaration of war came as a surprise to the New Sammichian Empire, which had been under the impression that peace had been made with Laurelian and its allies after last month's incident; however, us Imperials know better than anyone else that mistakes can be made. The Emperor Sammus Mephistes Inigmax Ich II the Magnificent would like to formally invite the Prime Minister Wuggeh of Paarsdam to our capital of Fulfwotz in order to negotiate and agree upon the terms of an armistice, putting an end to this unnecessary and wasteful fighting."
The Office of the Emperor made no comment on Paarsdam's intent to separate Caffa, the second largest city in the NSE, from the state. After vetoing the Caffan Referendum bill several days ago, it is clear that he has no interest in granting the city independence or even autonomy as an Imperial protectorate. Since its annexation in 1939, Caffa has harbored resentment towards the Empire, and has seceded twice. The Emperor's veto was extremely controversial, and some Caffans even cheered on the declaration of war, with several splinter groups expressing a willingness to side with Paarsdam.
With the offer of a ceasefire and the admittance of error on the Prime Minister's part, Imperial forces have been relaxed in the towns of Activia, Chiffur, and Little Wangleton. The Second Imperial Naval Fleet still patrols the waters around Caffa.3 -
*Holding slip of paper in hand, standing in front of microphones at Paarsdam town hall*
It is peace for our time!6
