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[Hayffington Post] Riverwood Civil War Ends; Election Results In
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Antheus
Arbiter, Engineer, Wiki Editor
RIVERWOOD- The horrific civil war that occurred after the former President, Antheus Antherson, was killed by the gross negligence of the Shire Transportation Administration has finally come to an end. On Thursday, February 8th the state signed a peace treaty with itself and planned an election for Saturday, February 10th. The results of the election were 97% of the vote for Fulfwotizan immigrant Turo Tryphaenus and 3% for Pieskvillian James Jonathan. "The election was very intense," Freddo Nebson, resident of Riverwood said. "I was on the edge of my seat the whole five hours the results were announced on the TV!"
Tryphaenus ran on the platform of resolving the relations with the New Sammichian Empire, claiming that the NSE is "a great nation that values the integrity of the law and fights for basic human rights." Tryphaenus also stated he would "crack down hard on Laurelian's war crimes" and "put Laurelian in it's rightful place: a fiery coffin." Political experts predict that this platform will drastically improve relations with the Empire and allow for much needed trade deals with it. "Pieskville really needs the precious stones that the Empire has for our construction projects," Samington Sampson, Pieskvillian Architect said. "Our current supply just isn't enough to meet the demand required by the rapid growth [of Pieskville]."
The elections results raised some concerns at the Shire United Nation's Election Integrity Council's review of the results, with some claiming that the NSE had blatantly interfered with the election through the use of Politech Manufacturing's Electronic Election Machines. The machines are well known for the rigging of the former High Chancellors' election in the NSE. Despite the claims, His Majesty Emperor Sammus Mephistes Inigmax Ich II stated in a press release "The Empire has no interest in that shithole of a state and would NEVER interfere in a democratic election." After the entire Council was found dead with multiple gunshot wounds in a house in Fulfwotz, the S.U.N. closed the investigation, claiming there was "no incriminating evidence to suggest there was any interference in Riverwood's election." The Fulfwotzian corner's office determined that the council members participated in a cult suicide and that there was no evidence of foul play. "They looked like they were swiss cheese," Fulfwotzian Nota Lyar said when asked about the suicide scene. "It looked like someone took a machine gun and went to town on them. You could see the way they were crawling for the exit but couldn't because they were shot. It was really cool seeing all the blood and guts on the wall; it looked like a mural."
Comments
Illyllygian James, Laurelian "I can't believe the NSE keeps getting away with this kind of behavior!"
Jesika Killmimore, Oranjstad "I am very worried about the future of Riverwood but I can only hope for the best"
Nota Sammichainbot, Fulfwotz "BEEP BOOP NEW SAMMICHIAN EMPIRE IS AMAZING HOW COULD ANYONE DOUBT IT BOOP BEEP"
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Tryphaenus ran on the platform of resolving the relations with the New Sammichian Empire, claiming that the NSE is "a great nation that values the integrity of the law and fights for basic human rights." Tryphaenus also stated he would "crack down hard on Laurelian's war crimes" and "put Laurelian in it's rightful place: a fiery coffin." Political experts predict that this platform will drastically improve relations with the Empire and allow for much needed trade deals with it. "Pieskville really needs the precious stones that the Empire has for our construction projects," Samington Sampson, Pieskvillian Architect said. "Our current supply just isn't enough to meet the demand required by the rapid growth [of Pieskville]."
The elections results raised some concerns at the Shire United Nation's Election Integrity Council's review of the results, with some claiming that the NSE had blatantly interfered with the election through the use of Politech Manufacturing's Electronic Election Machines. The machines are well known for the rigging of the former High Chancellors' election in the NSE. Despite the claims, His Majesty Emperor Sammus Mephistes Inigmax Ich II stated in a press release "The Empire has no interest in that shithole of a state and would NEVER interfere in a democratic election." After the entire Council was found dead with multiple gunshot wounds in a house in Fulfwotz, the S.U.N. closed the investigation, claiming there was "no incriminating evidence to suggest there was any interference in Riverwood's election." The Fulfwotzian corner's office determined that the council members participated in a cult suicide and that there was no evidence of foul play. "They looked like they were swiss cheese," Fulfwotzian Nota Lyar said when asked about the suicide scene. "It looked like someone took a machine gun and went to town on them. You could see the way they were crawling for the exit but couldn't because they were shot. It was really cool seeing all the blood and guts on the wall; it looked like a mural."
Comments
Illyllygian James, Laurelian "I can't believe the NSE keeps getting away with this kind of behavior!"
Jesika Killmimore, Oranjstad "I am very worried about the future of Riverwood but I can only hope for the best"
Nota Sammichainbot, Fulfwotz "BEEP BOOP NEW SAMMICHIAN EMPIRE IS AMAZING HOW COULD ANYONE DOUBT IT BOOP BEEP"
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The Tale of Riverwood Sets Box Office Records, Follywood Claims
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Comments
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they are legitimate not that we would care anyway but they are legitimate6
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Copied from Official Solurian Press Release: "...and we offer our sincere apologies to the various astronomers around the Shire. Furthermore, the intern who activated the solar eclipse ahead of schedule has been fired, and we are taking steps to ensure an accidental solar eclipse activation like this does not occur in the future. Thank you. [loud reporter noises]"2
