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Havana regains Self-Rule; Oranjestad ends Humanitarian Aid

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Oranjestad announced yesterday they were ending their five month long humanitarian mission in Havana. The local city government, elected just last month, will assume all governing responsibilities effective at noon today.

"We're extremely proud of the recovery the city has made", said Oranjestad General George Turgidson. "In the short time we were here, we saw this town go from zero to hero and we're happy to have played a role".

Oranjestad first occupied Havana on January 12 2018 as part of a humanitarian relief effort. During the occupation, Oranjestad completed numerous projects to restore the city, including:

*Dredging, extending, and resealing the Havana canal
*Rebuilding numerous roads and bridges
*Restoring over two dozen residential and commercial buildings; adding windows and flooring and prepping them for occupation
*Fully restoring the Havana Fortress
*Adding over 50,000 tons of landfill and stone for water runoff and retention
*Delivering 20,000 tons of food relief and medical supplies

Oranjestad is not leaving the city empty handed, however. Numerous Oranjestad-based business interests have staked claims in the new up and coming city, helping to bolster the economy and add steady jobs for the residents.

Still, the occupation was not without critics. Some area residents felt the occupation was a 19th-century style imperialistic land grab. "I don't care what they're giving Havana - there is always a catch" said one local resident. "We're not getting this aid for free - Oranjestad is getting something out of the deal, whether its power, wealth, or both, and it'll cost us in the long run".

There is no denying the incredible gains the city has made in the past five months - it remains to be seen the long-term impact of Oranjestad's mission. "Our hope is other nations around the world will continue assisting Havana by completing buildings and infrastructure projects", Turgidson said.


Johnny Rottenburg, Paarsdam: "I just paid $500 for a new Global Politics textbook - are you telling me it's out of date already??"

Lemon LaCroix, Garbanzo: "Havana - I promise you this doesn't end well. Oranjestad sold my town to some two-bit empire and already our town wall is crumbling"

Franklin Wienerson, Ebethron: "Typical Liberal Lunacy from the Left Coast - Progressives are only going to yank your chains for a few more days....And then it will be time for you to come home..The Oranjestad era is coming to an end..Time to be neighbors again.."

Ken M, Mainland: "I don't think giving AIDS to people is all that humanitarian"