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How to Live a Longer and Healthier Life
Sammiches822
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@};- How to Live a Longer and Healthier Life @};-
Pete Ghey, Health Columnist
Do you ever wonder if you're healthy enough to live a happy life? With the holidays approaching, many people are taking this factor into account and adding the traditional LOSE WEIGHT to their New Year's resolution list! But there are many other ways you can keep your mind and body in tip-top shape, other than lying about how much you weigh.
1. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
Contrary to popular belief, fruits and vegetables are actually quite healthy for you, loaded with... with... antioxygen? antioxipants? Whatever. To be honest, we're not quite sure what "fruits" or "vegetables" are. They just somehow healthy for you. Apparently.
2. Run fifty miles every day.
While it may seem a bit excessive, how much does being around to see the planet collapse inwards onto itself really mean to you?
3. Don't die.
Many people underestimate the worth of this Golden Rule. You can lead a healthy and long life by simply not dying. Tell the Grim Reaper you're not quite ready to depart for the fiery Nether underworld, and you plan to stick around for quite some time! I'm sure your children will love not recieving any inheritance!
4. Harvest the souls of a thousand albino newborns.
This rule comes from our chief Pagan Spiritual editor, Krakhaz LiVed. By simply absorbing the fresh new souls of approximately a thousand pure white newborn children, you can increase your overall life span by 2.5 years. Watch out children! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
5. Create an exercise plan.
It may help to create an exercise plan in a drunken streak of random inspiration late at night to remain healthy. You can brag about this to all of your 2.3 friends for five days until you lose all motivation to continue any more exercise. Hooray for being healthy!
~SGN Online, Helping you Act Like you Care~
Contact us at shireglobalnews@gmail.com!
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Carmen Sandiego, ???- where in the world am i????
Waldo, ???- [In Reply to: Carmen Sandiego] lets just say the police arent just looking for u anymore
))
Clara Oboe, New Enderton- will 500 albino babys work
Frank Furter- !!!!WARNING!!!! u cannot turn back now even if u read warning only!!! this night 12 yrs ago there was this girl and her name was Destiknee and she was bullied at schol so ONE DAy she kiled herself!!!! and she comes back evry night to kill her bulliess!!! if u dont post this comment on 10 othr pages she will mistake u for one of hr bullies and kill YOu tnight!!! dont evn risk it this is serios guys if u do post it on tenn otherr pages u will haev the best day of ur life tmrw and ur crush will kiss u OMG im being srsly
Pete Ghey, Health Columnist
Do you ever wonder if you're healthy enough to live a happy life? With the holidays approaching, many people are taking this factor into account and adding the traditional LOSE WEIGHT to their New Year's resolution list! But there are many other ways you can keep your mind and body in tip-top shape, other than lying about how much you weigh.
1. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
Contrary to popular belief, fruits and vegetables are actually quite healthy for you, loaded with... with... antioxygen? antioxipants? Whatever. To be honest, we're not quite sure what "fruits" or "vegetables" are. They just somehow healthy for you. Apparently.
2. Run fifty miles every day.
While it may seem a bit excessive, how much does being around to see the planet collapse inwards onto itself really mean to you?
3. Don't die.
Many people underestimate the worth of this Golden Rule. You can lead a healthy and long life by simply not dying. Tell the Grim Reaper you're not quite ready to depart for the fiery Nether underworld, and you plan to stick around for quite some time! I'm sure your children will love not recieving any inheritance!
4. Harvest the souls of a thousand albino newborns.
This rule comes from our chief Pagan Spiritual editor, Krakhaz LiVed. By simply absorbing the fresh new souls of approximately a thousand pure white newborn children, you can increase your overall life span by 2.5 years. Watch out children! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
5. Create an exercise plan.
It may help to create an exercise plan in a drunken streak of random inspiration late at night to remain healthy. You can brag about this to all of your 2.3 friends for five days until you lose all motivation to continue any more exercise. Hooray for being healthy!
~SGN Online, Helping you Act Like you Care~
Contact us at shireglobalnews@gmail.com!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen Sandiego, ???- where in the world am i????
Waldo, ???- [In Reply to: Carmen Sandiego] lets just say the police arent just looking for u anymore
))Clara Oboe, New Enderton- will 500 albino babys work
Frank Furter- !!!!WARNING!!!! u cannot turn back now even if u read warning only!!! this night 12 yrs ago there was this girl and her name was Destiknee and she was bullied at schol so ONE DAy she kiled herself!!!! and she comes back evry night to kill her bulliess!!! if u dont post this comment on 10 othr pages she will mistake u for one of hr bullies and kill YOu tnight!!! dont evn risk it this is serios guys if u do post it on tenn otherr pages u will haev the best day of ur life tmrw and ur crush will kiss u OMG im being srsly
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