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Church of Sammintology to Open Headquarters in Feverly Hills

Sammiches822
Sammiches822 Arbiter
edited December 2014 in Shire Global News
[i]Urgg Bluff, Junior SGN Journalist
[/i]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/NiwQ4OM.png[/img]
[b]FEVERLY HILLS, FULFWOTZ-[/b] In a press statement earlier this week, the controversial Church of Sammintology has announced plans to establish their national headquarters in the district of Fulfwotz, Feverly Hills. The religious organization has purchased the historic Château de la Fièvre hotel, which will now be converted into their headquarters, celebrity center, and a hotel for Sammintologists exclusively. Tension between the organization and the Empire has risen after plans for a 520 acre Sammintology compound (dubbed Sammintology Gold Base) were rejected by the Fulfwotz City Planning Office.
Once the Church of Sammintology learned that SGN was writing an article about them, they then threatened us with lawsuits and psychological harassment if we did not allow a representitive to speak about Sammintology inside this article... So yeah.

[quote]"...Praise Sammoth! Hello, phiats! The messengers of the all-knowing Sammoth greet you. We already know you are excited for the opening of our new Sammintology Center, for our leader has spoken to us! We have heard many lies about our peaceful organization, such as we are a corrupt and fake religious movement whose main focus is profit off of our staged training and tutoring of those wishing to join us in the fruitful light of Sammoth. Well, we say, to the 56th Dimension with you, naysayers! Sammoth loves all under his benevolent leadership, ever since the beginning...
Long ago, the evil Space Titan known as Ymmij, packed all 188 billion of his subjects into his Interdimensional Galactic Transportational Space Boat. They were forced to watch nine-hundred ninty nine movies in 3D, while wearing 3D glasses that were too big for their facial hands. They soon landed in the Shire, at the site of what is now the city of Fulfwotz. There he unloaded all of his citizens, and tore their life essences from their eyeballs which he proceeded to eat. Anyone who spoke their minds freely was subjected to nine years of rolling rocks up Sammoth Mountain. Then, one day, one of his subjects named Illyxiafilliaseraphiumissarlarly, successfully rolled his rock to the summit of the mountain, which released the spirit of Sammoth! In his hands he held the exhausted citizens, and kissed them collectively with the force of a thousand ultranovas, which healed them. Together they turned the entirety of Mount Sammoth upside down (our symbol, you can see! The line on the right represents Sammoth himself, while the line on the left represents those he healed. Where they merge represents when they worked together to turn the mountain upside down.) effectively crushing the evil Ymmij beneath it. With your help, you can assist Sammoth in ridding the world of the remains of Ymmij, which were scattered across the Shire at the time of his ruination."

[i]-Teresa the Enlightener, Church of Sammintology[/i][/quote]

So there's that. What do you think about the opening?

~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~
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[i]Teresa the Enlightener, Fulfwotz[/i]- Sammoth is the right, the just!

[i]Teresa the Enlightener, Fulfwotz[/i]- All shall be forgiven under the light of Sammoth!

[i]Jean DeBasque, Brosillon[/i]- [b][In Reply to: Teresa the Enlightener][/b] omg shut up please

[i]Teresa the Enlightener, Fulfwotz[/i]- [b][In Reply to: Jean DeBasque][/b] You have been summoned to the Interstellar Court of Justice Xenar! Charges: $3,000,000 for Emotional Distress, $78,000,000 for Harassment, $500,000 for Slander [b][USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST][/b]
Post edited by Sammiches822 on
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