FOLLYWOOD SLANDERER: CHILDHOOD ACTRESS TURNED TERRORIST??? OMG!

Sammiches822

OMG! HAS TALIA SUBARU FINALLY GONE OFF THE DEEP END?

It would appear so! Beloved childhood actress Talia Subaru recently appeared in this totally 100% untampered-with photoshoot with her terrorist-acolyte friends. While she and her friends discuss bombing bridges and killing civilians on her luxurious couch, Talia is seen holding up a sign reading "burn the infidels" while her radical friends cheer and celebrate at the notion. It is also apparent that Subaru is trying to hide her face with the poster, possibly knowing what terrible publicity this photo would be.

People are outraged at this offensive photo, and surprised that someone like Talia would do something like this. For those of you who are too young to remember, Talia starred in a show called "My Dad's a Fish... And That's My Life!" on the Pissney Channel. Ms. Subaru played Elizabeth Hardick, a normal teenage girl... except her dad was a fish! Elizabeth had to navigate the ups and downs of living with a fishdad, but in the end, everyone loves each other. The show was considered one of the most successful on the Pissney Channel, and a favorite of children and mentally slow adults alike. But, as is prone to happen, she began swimming closer and closer to the deep end, thanks to an overcritical and harsh media judging her every move (not us).

By age sixteen, Talia was already driving. Driving isn't strange for a sixteen-year-old, you might say. But you don't understand. She was driving a car. INSANE!!! Definitely only something a terrorist would be able to do! Studies show that 100% of terrorists know what cars are. 

Whelp, the facts are there. Irrefutable proof that Talia Subaru is a changed woman, and the last glimmer of Elizabeth Hardick has faded away. Ms. Subaru is reportedly hiding out inside of her Fulhattan Beach oceanfront house. Let me... Let me look in her window. It kind of looks like she's doing cocaine. Whatever. Anyway, back to the terrorism. One of our commenters from Acadie, Wilbert Jonsin, suggested we make a petition to send Talia to terrorist rehab. Great idea, Wilbert! Sign the petition below if you think that we should forcefully send Talia to terrorist rehab so she can get better. Also, Talia claimed if this post got 15,000 retweets, she would stop being a terrorist. Pls retweet.

Charise DeVille, Senior Gossip Columnist

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Ferd Bergen, Orikami- at least i get the satisfaction of watching a childhood actress i slightly disliked spiral downwards

Talia Subaru, Fulhattan Beach- I don't bother stopping this because it's the only reason why I'm still relevant.

Mary Soho, Modaora- obscuri confrmfd

Cherri Vanilla, Equos- i knew it i saw her once and she told me she was a terrorist pls help im not lying she killed my dog

Lord_Drekar

Sammich is officially the Fox News of the shire.

Vetous

where the hell do you come up with stuff like this