FOLLYWOOD SLANDERER: Palustris Resident HALF-LIZARD??? WHAAAA???

Sammiches822

PALUSTRIS RESIDENT IS A WHAAAT???

Citizens of the sleepy town of Palustris woke with a shock yesterday, as they discovered that one of their own, Michael Snithers, is actually a LIZARD?? OMG! He was seen scuttling around the mysterious Vornschmidt early yesterday morning, by several witnesses (all of whom are Follywood Slanderer correspondents). After filing several complaints about the presence of lizardmen, the Palustris Police were soon on the scene. They didn't see anything, but you can trust us. There was definitely something. We're more reliable. Want to know why the police aren't saying anything? Because they KNOW! Follywood Slanderer supporters have been protesting in front of the Palustris Royal Palace, demanding that the government release the lizards. There is no doubt that the government is hiding lizard people from us! Do we have proof of that? No. But do we have proof that they AREN'T hiding lizardmen? NO! This is the only logical solution!

Many people in Palustris believe the ancient Vornschmidt had something to do with the sudden appearance of lizardmen. But not the Slanderer. We believe- No, we KNOW that the lizardman was the result of illegal government testing gone wrong. How do we know? Let's just say assumptions is a Slanderer specialty. Remember a few years ago when we assumed that a Civil War was going to break out? Didn't that happen? Disregard the fact that we made that assumption after several other reliable news sources made that claim. 

Many Shirefolk are wondering where we go from here. People are petitioning for a release of the lizardmen, and even the Church of Sammintology has claimed that Michael Snithers is actually the Church's founder, Sam Mint, reincarnated. Does this spell the emergence of a new Shire race? Or another government secret kept under wraps? Only time and excessive smear campaigns will tell.

Protestors outside of the Palustris Royal Palace

Bryce Lisred, Government Secret Specialist

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Mafala Dala, Acadie- i knew it i emailed this article to my husband and he agrees too and so does my sister and her fammily

Frank Shank, Mainland- typical government smh. theyve been keeping lizard ppl under wraps for years now

Nancy Withers, Little Wangleton- WWJD

Skyler Oprem, Athitica- lol im a lizardkin so this makes sense.

Lord_Drekar

What would Josie do xD

Maghion

What would Josie do?XD

Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Josie Rocks?

pc1894

Yeah absolutely. Tell me about her.

pc1894

ok frist of al wat r lizards we dunt hav lizards maybe you taking about lisreds we hav a lot of lisreds and thay are bad we cnt let them go cus thay are evil and thay will kill all the unicrons and the prinseses and web is thar boss and web will make them be mean pls don't make us let them go pls sam