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EXPLOSION ROCKS RESIDENCY IN ORANJESTAD; Communist saboteurs suspected
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nebbers
Lord
An explosion as mysterious as it was deadly killed at least 5 persons and injured more than 8 others yesterday at 57 seconds after noon, in the far corner of the Irvington neighborhood of Oranjestad. The police and the secret service agree that circumstances and the meager clues they have been able to gather all apparently indicated that the horror was caused by an Oranje Navy torpedo carried directly in front of the home of OJ Morgan, the outspoken Dalmatian Bank vice president. A sign left at the site of the explosion, reading "mundi operariis unitum" (workers of the world united) suggests that Reds from Fulfwotz are behind the attack.
The only documentary evidence preceding this attack was found in a letter sent to Oranjestad Police, postmarked from Bucketheadland, which read:
"Greetings: Get out of Irvington on the gong strike at 12 o'clock Wednesday (the 15th). Good luck. -ZUT WOLFF."
Reports from Bucketheadland this morning stated that Wolff stayed at the Queens Hotel in the Demmatrodine city for two days, leaving
there on the 14th without paying his bill. He talked wildly, and at times incoherently, to the hotel clerks and other employees concerning
an upheaval that he said he had knowledge was coming in Oranjestad, declaring also that there were "four millionaires around here who should
be killed." He left with the statement that he was going to take a late train to Oranjestad on the night of the 14th, and in his room later were found two raincoats and a tennis racquet, but nothing which would aid the police in locating him, and nothing which would definitely establish his connection and identity.
The Bucketheadland authorities, however, learned that Wolff was a Fulfwotzian, and was said to be a Communist sympathizer and to have attended radical meetings while in Bucketheadland.
Police are asking any persons with evidence to please come forward. At this hour the Press is still awaiting official reaction from Lord Nebbers' office. It is known that at the time of the explosion, Lord Nebbers was reading "My Pet Goat" to school children in Carvenhall.
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