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~Shire Global News~

Sammiches822
Sammiches822 Arbiter
edited August 2014 in General Chat
**VIRUS HAS RESURFACED; DOES IT POSE A THREAT TO THE SHIRE?**
Researchers have discovered that an Athitican STD, Dysterias, is actually a common strain of the deadly virus Lymphrosis, otherwise known as the Great White Plague, which killed 42% of the entire population five centuries ago. Scientists concluded that Shirefolk were immune to the virus, but it has since mutated. It is still unknown if it may be more lethal, or just as dangerous as the common cold. Symptoms so far are itchy skin, paleness, and headaches, none of which are life-threatening. Several cities have considered closing their borders, although it is not likely. So far, only Athitica reports showing signs of the virus, although they are all extremely mild cases. Researchers are struggling to figure out if it is spreading through winged hosts, as the Shire is preparing for the famous Balderbleet Migration. The Balderbleet Birds are expected to fly south, and it may spread the virus to other major cities in southern regions of the Shire.

**THIS HAS BEEN A SGN BROADCAST**

(Please post news on your city in this topic!) 

Comments

  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited August 2014
    **LYMPHROSIS; POSSIBLE PLAGUE A TICKING TIME BOMB?**

    Vanila Lampre, SGN Journalist

    DEPREY INSTITUTE, FULFWOTZ- Researchers from the famous DePrey Research Institute in Fulfwotz have been studying Lymphrosis day in and day out since its appearance five days ago. Scientists at the institute are said to have been collaborating with one of Fulfwotz's chief medical consultants, Dr. Foqbolz. "What we're looking at is a disease. And... um. It's deadly. Wait! No. It might be deadly. We're not sure. But there's a very good chance that it could be a disease. There's also a chance it might be a disease. I mean... yea. Pretty much. It could be dangerous. Maybe." Meanwhile, many cities have taken cautionary measures to make sure the virus does not reach their populous. Floffwym, Mainland, and Oranjestead have all brought up the topic of shutting down borders, prohibiting travel, halting trade, and so on. The vital Exton-Vashon Freight Line has also been temporarily shut down after a possible case was reported in Exton to prevent the likelihood of infecting Vashon. This dealt a great blow to the Shire Economy, as oil is one of its largest markets. It is likely that shipping between the two cities will resume once the case has been examined. Meanwhile, as Founding Day approaches in October, people travelling to see loved ones will cause the airports and train stations to be packed with infected and healthy people. Is this a bright idea, or no? Tell us what you think!

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Tammy Fridgwiff, Venice- I WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING MY GRANDSON THE VIRUS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY THANK YOU FOR THE IDEA SGN LOVE YOUR SHOW THANKS TAMMY

    DaQuan D'Squarius, Fulfwotz- The day has come!!! The great lord Mahahakara has risen!!! repent or be forever cast into the eternal shadow!!! judgment day is coming amen

    Sarah Waterby, Monticello- is this walmart

    Sarah Waterby, Monticello- hello

    Irene Bishavaglov, Kraghal- I already got my virus before it even reached me and you can too at bit.ly/312/c3 
    Post edited by Sammiches822 on
  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited August 2014
    **BREAKING NEWS: FIRST CONFIRMED DEATH FROM LYMPHROSIS**

    Franze Yelch, Senior SGN Journalist

    KINGSHEAD MEMORIAL HOSPITAL, ATHITICA- Shocking news arrives as we learn of Lymphrosis' first victim, Marty Schitz, 38. Marty "...looked extremely pale and tired, and had red irritated rashes all over his body." He fell unconscious while at the Venezian Market in Cognac, outside of Athitica. He was then transported to Kingshead Memorial Hospital via helicopter, and perished several minutes after arriving. A sample of his DNA was brought back to the Universita di Venezia to be studied, so we may learn more about the virus and to explore the possibility of developing a vaccine or cure. The Schitz family mourns the loss of Marty, stating "...this is a tragic time in our family, and all we ask is that we receive some space and privacy," while fifteen various news stations harassed them for more information. The death of Marty Schitz shows that this virus is capable of being extremely lethal. Is this the beginning of something larger?

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Art Veshikkl, Exton- wow tht is so sad guys pls donate $10 to my kickstarter pls im so sad wow omg www.kickstarter.com/projects/3829wow385

    Lillith Gormain, Knavobuki- Yes. A guy died. Sad. We get it. When will we focus on more important things, like what the Princess of Niflheim is wearing to the Shire Royal Wedding? Please guys. This is ridiculous.

    Kyle Bardner, Vashon- whoa wtf?? i hope my buddy dies so i can bang his gf lmao

    Mildred Yrass, Oranjestead- These kids today, going out and just getting STDs left and right!!! In my day, you had to ask to get an STD from someone. What ever happened to common courtesy??
  • **POSSIBLE INFECTIONS REPORTED; BEGINNING OF THE END?**

    Albertia Collinz, SGN Journalist


    SGN HEADQUARTERS, MAINLAND- Between today and yesterday, over 90 possible cases of Lymphrosis were rerported, and after the death of Marty Schitz, these people are in panic mode. Almost all of the infected have been quarantined by medical professionals, until it was realized that the medical professionals had not worn protective clothing, and were thus quarantined by lesser medical professionals. The quality of their quarantine is questionable at best, sources say. It appears that the majority of the infections were concentrated in and around the Fulfwotzian Empire. Many people express concern, although not-so-behind-the-scenes interviews show that many actually hope the virus ravages and wipes Fulfwotz off the map altogether. It is still unknown how many people could have possibly been infected by the virus before the ones who reported a case were quarantined. During a blunt interview with one of DePrey Institute's most prestigious scientists, Josie, about how they plan on treating the infected, all she had to say on the matter was "cack", and then proceeded to flee the city on a stolen horse. After some extensive research on Josie's background, no one really seems to recall where she ever came from. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton-eye Josie?

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Joanne Wilson, Orikami- garlic bread

    Stephanie Torrence, Summerstone- Oh no!! This virus is rly scaring me... :(

    n00bslay3r pwn4ge, Athitica- [In Reply to: Stephanie Torrence] Steph... May I call you that, m'lady? haha. Steph... my beautiful Summerstone flower... do not be scared... as long as I am here, nothing or no one will ever hurt you... well if I was there... if only... maybe you could give me your address, my love... so I can protect you... because you deserve to be protected... light of my life... I love you... <3

    Stephanie Torrence, Summerstone- [In Reply to: n00bslay3r pwn4ge] what

    Jacquelyn Demitrius, New Enderton- [In Reply to: n00bslay3r pwn4ge] LMAOOO she aint into ya just give up lol ur a mess. u think she like u lmao ok hunni xx

    Dick Maloney, Budapest- oh.... she knows how to do it ;)

    Dick Maloney, Budapest- srry wrong page pls dont tell my wife


  • 0031benjy
    0031benjy Confirm Email, Retired Staff
    I want some of what you're smoking ;)
  • no

     
  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited August 2014
    **DEATHS FROM LYMPHROSIS RISING EXPONENTIALLY**

    Wanda Nottagirl, Senior SGN Journalist
     

    SGN HEADQUARTERS, MAINLAND- In a recent count, it was discovered that over 453 have perished from the virus, almost five times as many deaths as August 24th. Cities are also reporting a cumulative of 1,203 cases of Lymphrosis. It has been proven that this illness is more formidable than previously thought, and is now being called The Next Plague. Many religious groups believe that it is Judgement Day, while others believe that it is a blessing and they should embrace it. Those who believe it is a blessing are part of the infamous Westshire Baptist Church, many of whom have been killed off, to much fanfare. The SEA Health Department issued this statement earlier today.

    "...It is advised that people commuting to work, going out shopping, or
    engaging in any other interactions with other people take cautionary measures
    to ensure that they do not get infected by their peers and coworkers. It is 
    considerably safer to stay indoors and avoid as much contact as possible with an infectious
    person. It is also recommended that you regularly wash your hands and shower. 
    SEA will continue to work towards finding a vaccine or cure to this virus."
    Sam M. Ich, SEA Adminstrator

    Many cities are donating funds to the SEA Health Department to aid in the search for a cure, although no news regarding its completion has been released yet. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to contain, as a wide variety of birds can act as hosts to lymphrosis. Due to the oncoming migration wave, many birds are discussing whether they should fly south or not. "It's just a large dilemma within our community," says one goose. "Flying south may be necessary for our survival, but it may mean the end of human life in the Shire. We've never been treated well by Shirefolk, all they do is scream at us and chase us at the park. But we've decided to be the bigger person and we're holding a vote on Friday." Nonetheless, Fulfwotz has declared a national ban on birds. Any birds caught flying above the city will be ticketed. 

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Sharon Montgomery, Seabriar- Things were so much easier when the Black Plague was still around. #bringbacktheblack

    Bill Hames, Mainland- When will it become socially acceptable to start looting? I really want this sweet flat-screen, but I don't really want to be the first person to start stealing. I feel like I'm better than that so I'm just going to be the second person or so. 

    Xi Lang, Shai-Ling- 哈哈所以我四處漂泊,我樂得笑感染了典型的我的權利?

    Karthige Numnutz, Fulfwotz- THEY TOOK MY PARAKEET HE WAS MY ONLY FRIEND AND THEY THREW HIM OFF THE FOLLYWOOD SIGN WHEN HE RESISTED ARREST AND HE FLEW AWAY AND A SINGLE BALLOON WAS LEFT AT MY DOOR THIS MORNING WITH A SMALL HANDWRITTEN NOTE WAS THIS HIM??? 

  • **ATHITICA DESTROYED**

    Ramadishi Blablishi, SGN Journalist

    Artist's Portrayal

    SGN EASTERN BRANCH, ORANJESTEAD- A few days ago in Athitica, a major Shire city, the infamous virus Lymphrosis ran out of control through its population, ravaging over 70% of the Athticans. So far 502,041 Athiticans have died from the plague, and another 20,382 are infected. Only 672 have been reported as immune to the deadly illness. The few survivors in Athitica have been quarantined inside the city by the SEA, and have been sending messages to the SEAC, telling them about the state of their city. One brave Ruff Ryder had this to say:

    "There's panic everywhere... This virus is having a huge impact on local shops. It's almost as if it's following some sort of method... It makes you stop, drop, then shuts them down, and opens up shop. Homes are boarded up, and the dead are being thrown out into the street... There's about five new government factions spread out across the city, and now it's evolved into man-on-man warfare instead of man-on-virus. Half the city is still smoldering from a fire a few nights ago. Slavers from the Black Market have swooped in to kidnap immune Athiticans to try and develop their own cure that they can sell for outrageous prices. They died though. Please send help."

    Athitica has recieved a total of $25 in donations from other cities, and around 20,000 box tops. 50 of them have been put towards an ice cream party for the city. Please visit their website to donate money towards rebuilding their city. In other more important news, Shire Public Schools have seen a 9% increase in elementary and middle school dropouts. "It's what all the cool kids are doing today," said Brandon Porker, a fifth grader at Acadie Elementary School. "Lots of famous people dropped out of college, like Stephen Careers and Will Fence. If we're just going to drop out of college like them, why not do it now instead of waiting?" When we last talked to Brandon, he was trying to sell his small lemonade business at the Shire Business Convention in Venice. 

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    -----------------------------------------------------
    Emperor Sammich, Fulfwotz- lol who cares about athitica?

    Sharon Barone, Leuton- It's a shame, all those poor people in Athitica, rotting in the streets. I'm going to tell all my friends about it with a concerned tone so they know I feel bad about it even though I really don't.

    Madelyn Wips, Storm's End- All this bad stuff happening to Athitica gives me inspiration for my new novella, "How to Discern Life and Dreams." God I hope this isn't a dream. That would be fantastic.

    Barry Himmz, Athitica- Sorry, I was listening to my walkman so loud that I was ignorant of the chaos happening around me while shaking my head to my sweet tunes. What happened again?

     
  • nebbers
    nebbers Lord
    edited September 2014

     

    Mayor Nebbers Announces New Alfa Beach Oceanfront Development

     

    Oranjestad, SH (Sept 5, 2014)

     

    Mayor Nebbers today officially designated the Alfa Beach development as the 11th distinct neighborhood in Oranjestad and the first in the county that will propel the revitalization of the city’s southern waterfront. The designation is tied to the official transfer of 40 acres of recently cleared land on Oranjestad’s southern edge from the Isfahan Revitalization Commission (IRC) to Oranje County where there will be a destination beach, oceanfront condos, and businesses, including Oranjestad’s first Dalmatian Bank & Trust.

    “By launching Oranjestad’s Alfa Beach development along the city’s waterfront, we are creating a world-class destination that will attract visitors from all over to experience some of the best that Oranjestad has to offer,” Mayor Nebbers said. “The transformation of the old Isfahan neighborhood is a major step forward for Oranjestad – one that will spur new investments throughout the region and lead to new opportunities in the future. I am proud that this project taking shape and look forward to seeing the completion of the neighborhood’s new facilities.”

    Alfa Beach will receive an initial investment of $15 million for improvements and enhancements.

    The 40 acres were transferred by IRC today to the Homestar Harbor Development Corporation (HHDC), a subsidiary of Nebworks, LLC, which has entered into an agreement with the City of Oranjestad to develop the lot.  IRC will continue to operate the land directly south of Orangetown Highway.  The old Isfahan neighborhood, which featured borrowed builds from Shanevr and Keikei, was completely demolished last month to make way for new, original developments.  Many similar efforts are nearly complete throughout Oranjestad as the city seeks to remove the bulk of any borrowed builds in favor of homegrown, original construction.  Few borrowed builds still exist.

    Howard A. Zemsky, IRC Chairman said, “Today’s transfer of IRC waterfront property represents a significant milestone that will provide momentum to a positive transformation of our southern harbor. I want to thank Governor Nebbers for his leadership and continued commitment to the resurgence of our community. As a direct result of this transaction, the IRC can now focus and concentrate full-time on its core mission of developing and expanding a new Isfahan neighborhood south of Orangetown Highway.”

    Construction has already begun on the 40 acre lot, with four beachfront townhomes, three beach-centric businesses, Dalmatian Bank, and three multi-purpose buildings already completed (exterior only).

      

    Artists Impression (he may have been on 'shrooms at the time):

    Artists Impression
  • Maghion
    Maghion Member, Wiki Editor
    Equos Resort Finally to be Completed

     Ayu's Pub corporation has purchased the long abandoned Equos Resort and will complete the project by the week's end. The original owners of the property cited financial collapse due to corrutpion within their ranks as reason why the project was abandoned. For a long time, citizens has been complaining about large amounts of looters and squatters occupying the empty building and causing property values to plummet in the area. 
    Ayu's Pub has also announced that they are contributing $5 billion dollars towards the construction of Equos University, rumored to have a nuclear power generator. The University is being built by a top secret organization known as Ministry of Unorthodox Science and Engineering aka MUSE.
    Furthermore, the editor of this article has been fired for revealing the existence of MUSE 
  • Budapest returns to life

    Workers returned to the deserted city of Budapest in the middle of the night this week for reasons unknown, though there are whisperings that they wish to secede from Venice and return Budapest to its former glory...
  • ^ workers learn of a magical spell to release Budapest from Venice's dominance.. something like '/region flag budapest greeting &rBudapest [Independent City].  Wizards are currently debating how to 'enter' this magical spell.
  • Maghion
    Maghion Member, Wiki Editor
    Equos University Scientist Develops Cure.
     
    A large number of Scientists and researchers from Equos University parties at nearby Ayu's Pub, celebrating a victory against the ongoing Great White Plague. Equos has submitted research findings to the SEA pending approval for human use. This medication, knowned as Desunol, works by introducing a genetically engineered Great White virus into the body that then alters all Great White Virus Cells to  self destruct.
  • Mieshoa
    Mieshoa Member, Wiki Editor, Retired Staff
    KNAVOBUKI REVEALS PLANS TO PREVENT DYSTERIAS

    Recently Knavobuki has revealed plans to prevent dysterias via creating new health facilities including hospitals and funding towards developing new drugs and research labs.
    In a recent speed, President Mieshoa announced," Dysterias is becoming scarier by the minute, and recent reports of ravage in Venezia is no encouragement that it will be going away any soon. For this reason, we have decided to fund hospitals and other facilities as well as putting money towards the development of drugs to combat the disease. We also plan to build special quarintine areas for any infected, if it is to spread to Knavobuki. We do not yet plan to close transport via trains and boats yet as these modes of transport are important to our trade, and we do believe it still has a small chance of spreading to Knavobuki as long as Knavobukers follow the guidelines set by the government. I will reinforce the rule that Knavobukiers don't travel via the train system to any major cities."

    Though President Mieshoa is confident the disease could be contained if it did hit Knavobuki, if it did it would inevitably be catastrophic.

    -----------------------------------------------------

    Jennifer Hudson, North Acton- SCARRRYYYYYYYYYYYY

    Beyoncé, Athitica- [In Reply to: Jennifer Hudson] Bitch, please shut up.

    Jennifer Hudson, North Acton- [In Reply to : Beyoncé] Now watch your mouth, watch your mouth Beyoncé, cause I don't take that talk from no secondary diva who can't sustain!

    Beyoncé, Athitica- [In Reply to: Jennifer Hudson] I'm not feeling well I've pain...

    Jennifer Hudson, North Acton- [In Reply to : Beyoncé] Hope you die soon XO

    Jay Z, New York- She's pregnant with another





  • **VENEZIA DESTROYED, MILLIONS OF LIVES LOST**

    Buhbrikka Shamika, SGN Journalist and Gossip Columnist



    SGN HEADQUARTERS, FULFWOTZ- Yesterday at 12:06 pm, Andrew Po, Mayor of Venezia, declared the city a disaster zone. The first symptoms of the virus inside of the city appeared about a week ago, while quaratines and other various medical precautions were not applied to the infected. Many believe this is because of the upcoming Children Screaming concert, and fear that being quarantined would mean that they would not be able to attend. Others believe it was a government cover up. One of these fanatics, Balo Bishaggo, had this to say.

    "No, I know I'm right, see? Have you ever noticed why the MAYOR isn't killed? And how no one ever said it WASN'T a cover up? I'm positive this whole lime-throw-sees virus was made by the fat cats in charge to wipe out the stupid people! Can't you see how the smart people are usually the ones who survive?! Why is that?! Why are the smart people surviving, but the dumb people dying?!"

    Shortly after the interview, Balo Bishaggo died from the virus. The total Venezian death count has exceeded one million, almost reaching the entirety of its population of three million. It should also be noted that Venezia is the most populated city in the Shire, so wiping out the Venezian population deals a great blow to the Shire's population as a whole. Meanwhile, the Screaming Children concert was still performed, to the cheers of the sick and dying in the streets. The concert was regarded as a success, and they will continue their tour of the major Shire cities. In other news, as scientists predict the possibility of the virus reaching central cities in the Shire, such as Mainland, Oranjestead, Lamename, and Bree, the SGN Headquarters have been moved from the Mainland to its Southern Office in Fulfwotz, to assure that SGN will always reluctantly be there for you in times of emergency.

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Marie Kingsburg, Venezia- Yeah, I heard about this. Such BS. I went to visit my girlfriend the other day, and we had plans to go out to the mall. Next thing you know, I go to her house, and she's dead on the floor. Like, seriously? The nerve of her! I ended up going by myself. You can be sure I'm not making plans with her again!

    Jafar Aladdin, Fulfwotz- Sobbing grossly in front of my wife and children is the only way I can cope with this. 

    Joel Brushka, Venezia- Hey! I live there! UDV represent!

    Paul Worts, Oranjestead- I own a small deli here in Oranjestead, and I can assure you that all of our meats are examined for traces of the virus by an elite team of infected persons. How else are they going to know if the meat is infected if they're not infected themselves??? 
  • Oranjestad Briefs:

    Oranje Republic dissolved: Nation-state officially reorganized into open border metropolitan area 

    The last vestiges of the great war between the Liberators and the Overtakers has finally been removed as the Oranje Republic is dissolved. The city-council voted 5-4 Tuesday to relinquish territories seized during the war and revert to antebellum borders.  FridayFunLand, Skylan Mountain, Budapest, Homestar Port, old Ravenholm Island, and the Netherstore have all been freed legally from Oranje Republic jurisidiction - although these regions have been operating independently since the end of the war.

    Oranjestad Hyperloop intra-city railway completed:

    The much anticipated Oranjestad Hyperloop railway has been completed.  The OTA placed the final rail link in yesterday afternoon.  A round-trip can take about 5 minutes without stops.  Stations and platforms are not yet operational, but are expected to include the following 14 stops:

    Olde Orangetown - Tier 2
    Upper Lusus
    Summit District- Tier 2
    Hyperion Hive - Level 17
    Homestead Neighborhood
    Haverhill - Tier 3
    Gala - Tier 2 
    As of yet unnamed Arena island - sub level
    Alfa Beach
    former Isfahan neighborhood
    Skylan Mountain - Interior
    Meijin Hills / Tyro Museum
    Lower Brahmin Beach
    Upper Brahmin Beach 
  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited September 2014
    **FULFWOTZ QUARANTINE COMPROMISED**

    Bilba Dafigga, Health and Safety Journalist


    This eerie photo of the deserted North Fulfwotz Beach shows how frightening and dangerous Lymphrosis can be.

    SGN HEADQUARTERS, FULFWOTZ- 
    A recent quarantine attempted was declared ineffective and compromised by Emperor Sammich this week. In an attempt to stop the possible infection of the entire Fulfwotz population, a group of researchers at DePrey Institute discovered a method to repel the virus from the host's body, saving the infected person in the process. The infected cititzens were locked inside the Von Julius Cinema, forced to watch Adam Sandler and Tyler Perry movies on repeat. When doctors and scientists returned into the theaters to see if the test was a success, found all of the participants dead in their seats. Autopsies conclude they died from severe internal bleeding and brain hemorrhaging. 
    It was also discovered that the virus was repelled from the bodies, although they proceeded to infect the scientists. The city also celebrated their Better Luck Next Time Gala. Meanwhile, the virus has continued its disastrous journey throughout the Shire, and various leaders have declared a state of national emergency. The SEA Health Department issued this statement earlier today.

    "After extensive research, we have concluded that Lymphrosis is rapidly mutating and is incredibly unstable. Recent tests show that the virus is now spreading through the water supply in eastern cities and regions. The cities and towns affected by this include: Oranjestead, Athitica, Exton, Leuton, Monticello, Acadie, and various parts of Venezia andSeabriar. If you live in any of these areas, please refrain from drinking water from faucets or other plumbing outlets, and only consume water from bottles and jugs. Please remain indoors, and avoid contact with sick and infected persons."
     
    In other news, Shire Founding Day rapidly approaches, and officials are considering if celebration is the best course of action under the circumstances. "We can't really stop the celebration," Head of Celebrations Mac Intosh said in an interviewon Monday. "We already paid and hired a DJ, and put in the orders for thousands of pizzas. It's a little too late to postpone theparty for a later date." Many people believe that Founding Day is a sacred day of celebration, parties, and drugs, and that continuing to have it on the usual date is the morally correct thing to do. Fulfwotz resident Babyfark McGeezaks is one of those people. "Why postpone it? Here in Fulfwotz, we know a thing or two about being morally superior. October 12th is when we should observe this glorious holiday. Or is it October 15th? I don't remember. I just know that Great Leader has assured us thatpartying and drugs are an important thing in our society, and that a deadly virus shouldn't stop us from enjoying that."

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~ 

    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    William Wolfhead, Acadie- WHY WOULD THEY POSTPONE FOUNDING DAY THIS IS AN OUTRAGE I SHOULD RANT ABOUT THIS ON VARIOUS SOCIAL MEDIA SITES SO PEOPLE KNOW JUST HOW MAD I AM ABOUT THIS

    Saque DeMenace, Fulfwotz- [In Reply to: William Wolfhead] Please calm down this is a family site they're not postponing the holiday

    Cher Badere, Knavobuki- o well doesnt mater limphrosis was an inside job neway

    Holie Kriste, Vashon- the end is near have u told jesus that u love him the heathens in the empire shall burn at the firey godly hand of our lord and savior jesus christ amen Zachary 9:23 

  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited October 2014
    **SHOCKING PHOTOSET OF SHIRE-WIDE CIVIL UNREST**

    Katherine Maguru, SGN Photographer

     The Acadie Medical Research Institute is lit on fire following a demonstration to distribute the vaccine at a faster pace.

    Athiticans struggle to escape their quarantined city, while the sick are being trampled to death beneath their feet.


    A Mainland Riot Control Officer is ignited by protestors after a SWL Summit to discuss the future distribution of the vaccine.


    The Venezian Embassy in Fulfwotz burns after an explosion caused by the radical Wottwum Party.
     
    A car is ignited in Oranjestad after the city is infected, and the large absence of police force. 

    ~
    SGN Online, helping you act like you care~
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Mary Bary, Oranjestad- Hey, I'm in that last picture! Hi Mom, hi Dad!

    Hans Oblokin, Greenvale- those fukn hi nd mitey swl summit JE RKS... U NO THEY GONA GiVE IT TO THE RITCH!!!!1

    Mabel Cesore, Orikami- After I was shoved down several flights of stairs in the SEA Tower by rabid protestors LifeAlert saved me and lets me enjoy more time with my loving family call 1-800-LYFALRT

    Dick Johnson, Sravasti- Wow, this is really shocking. It's really amazing how a virus can cause civilized society to crumble.

    Eshran Makar, Karaam- shut up u ad nothing useful to teh conversatin
     
  • Oranjestad Journal-Gazette
    EDITORIAL

    IN THE MIDDLE of a disease outbreak, panic and fear can themselves be a destructive force. When the Lymhprosis virus first broke out in Athitica, governments dropped the ball and were unable to contain the dread, leading people to take action — such as evading quarantine — that spread the infections. A core requirement of managing a crisis like this is that public health officials and political leaders maintain the public’s confidence.

    This premise applies just as well to the wider Shire region as it does to Athitica, and in recent days, a significant misstep in Oranjestad has shaken that confidence.

    A man from New Venice, Thomas Duncan, had contact with a pregnant woman there who was infected, although he may not have known that when he carried her to a hospital. She later died. He did not show symptoms immediately, and went to the seaport, where he signed a screening form saying he had not had contact with anyone with Lymphrosis, and sailed to Oranjestad. Once in town, Mr. Duncan began to feel ill and went to the 24/7 clinic at Pastafarian Primary Care on Tier 3 of the Summit Neighborhood. While there, he came in contact with other people who were healthy. He was released by the hospital, which concluded he had only a low-grade fever from a viral infection. The hospital apparently did not connect the dots of his illness and his recent travel from New Venice, one of the cities most seriously hit by the recent outbreak. Mr. Duncan then returned to the hospital when his symptoms worsened and officials confirmed he was infected with the Lymphrosis virus.

    The misstep was the failure in the Oranjestad emergency room to realize that he was a potential Lymphrosis victim, allowing him, at least theoretically, to come in contact with others present and after he was released. On his first visit to the emergency room, he was showing symptoms and should have been immediately isolated and tested. The key to fighting Lymphrosis — for which there are no readily-available vaccines or therapeutics — is identifying those infected, isolating them and tracing those they have been in contact with. This kind of vigilance was not on display in the clinic's emergency room.

    Screening sea and airship passengers is certainly useful, but it is not foolproof, since Lymphrosis doesn’t always show symptoms right away. This is unlike influenza, which is more readily detectable. A screening form did not stop Mr. Duncan from boarding a ship to Oranjestad.

    Lymphrosis presents a frightening challenge from nature, but it can be stopped. The Central Shire metropolitan area enjoys one of the most advanced and robust health-care systems in the world, capable of isolating Lymphrosis patients when they arrive and halting transmission. But it is going to require zero tolerance for oversights like that which appears to have occurred in Oranjestad. Other Shire hospitals — including those in Fulfwotz evaluating possible Lymphrosis cases — must take a lesson.

  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited October 2014
    **TRAGEDY IN FULFWOTZ: CITY INFECTED**

    Flimflam McBam, SGN Health Journalist


    The typically busy Snowgrab Square district of Fulfwotz sits almost completely empty.

    SGN HEADQUARTERS, FULFWOTZ- Earlier this week, a total of two-thousand cases of Lymphrosis were confirmed within the city of Fulfwotz. Now, that number has exponentially multiplied, with over 700,000 confirmed cases. It is reported that Emperor Sammich has evacuated the city and is now isolated in an undisclosed location, along with the High Chancellor of Fulfwotz, Ben. Areas most affected within the city are Farside Park, Oldetown, Seaside Park, Snowgrab Square, the Theater District, the Commercial District, and the Cathedral District.

    It is also reported that a security perimeter was established around Follywood a few days ago when reports of the virus first started coming in. The affluent citizens of Follywood petitioned within the Fulfwotz City Council to have a security perimeter established around the district to protect the uninfected, although it seems that the rich have turned on everyone else, and only residents of Follywood are allowed to enter. This also brings into question the alleged elitism running through the government and social classes of the Empire. Follywood has been called the safest area in Fulfwotz, due to district being bordered by the Numnutz Mountains to the north and east, and the Fuqbolz River to the south and west. 

    DePrey Institute is also safe, and the research facility is not allowing anyone to enter or exit the premises. They have continued studying the virus, and are researching ways to distribute the vaccine in a more timely manner before it spreads to other cities. They are in contact with SGN Headquarters, which is also under strict lockdown. We have been surviving on leftover donuts and birthday cake, along with water from the water cooler on the third floor. 

    It is also reported that Emperor Sammich has enacted a massive quarantine ordinance for the entire city of Fulfwotz, in which no one is allowed to enter or exit the city, healthy or not. This is to prevent the virus from spreading and infecting other towns within the Demmatrodine Region. It is currently unknown how the virus reached Fulfwotz, as it is one of the most isolated cities in the Shire. Researchers conclude the virus may have come from migrating Balderbleet birds, who travel south when winter approaches. While the birds usually tend to fly farther east than Fulfwotz, it is not unheard of that some Balderbleet birds settle in the Demmatrodine Region come winter.

    The SSE (Shire Stock Exchange) also took a major hit, as Fulfwotz is a major economical center in the Shire, and many large businesses and companies are based within the city. Stock value has plummeted around 10% after the infection of Fulfwotz, while it has fallen over 29% in total after the infection of other major economical centers, such as Venezia, Oranjestad, and Athitica.

    Reports of widespread rioting and looting within the city run rampant, while the Empire, in part with the SEA, has issued an order for all citizens to remain indoors, an order which has gone largely ignored. After the SWL Summit in the Mainland last Friday, it was decided that the Mainland should be declared the International Safe Zone (ISZ), and rapid construction of a temporary wall is almost complete around the Capital of the Shire. All healthy individuals are asked to travel to the ISZ, where you will be screened for the virus. There is more than enough room and provisions for those healthy individuals. In the meantime, we can only hope that this plague ends soon.

    ~SGN Online, Helping you Act Like you Care~
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Richard McManus, Vashon- oh thank god finally

    Rebecca Schwatz, Exton- i know whos having a party tonite lolol

    Friddle Snuhr, Fulfwotz- haha yes!!! things are great here in fulf. i own a fur shop, and its a very hard market to get into here in fulfwotz... but this plague has literally cut through my competitors!!! im going to be rich!!! feeling a lil sick tho lol

    Friddle Snuhr, Fulfwotz- its just a cold im going to be fine everthing is ok calm dowwwwwwjwjwjjfdjfhhjfjjjkllllllllllllll

    Siddle Fhurn, Fulfwotz- i own a fur shop too, my time 2 shine

    Tobias Willis, Acadie- are u serious? the most awful place in tht awful city ends up being the 1 who gets protectedd. fml

     
  • Maghion
    Maghion Member, Wiki Editor
    edited October 2014
    Senpai Maghion overwhelmed


    Keeping Equos protected from the virus has proven successful thanks to the divine efforts of Equos University Scientists, however  new challenges emerges in response to Equos victory. Senpai Maghion has allocated a major portion of taxpayers dollars and other funds to the research, and while proven succesful, government officials are scrambling to find money to keep Equos borders secured. Word of  Equos holding the cure has spreaded rapidly throughout the Shire and the borders patrols are continually deporting those trying to cross borders to Equos. 
    "Due to limited supplies and major budget deficit, we only have enough medications for our citizens to last us until the epidemic hopefuly goes away" Senpai  Maghion shares with other leaders throughtout The Shire via online communications.  
    In related news, Ayu's Pub gemporary closes doors in fulfwotz and other majorly affected areas until further notice 
  • **LAST INFECTED LYMPHROSIS PATIENT DIES**

    Vanila Lampre, Senior SGN Journalist



    DEPREY RESEARCH INSTITUTE, FULFWOTZ- The Lymphrosis nightmare is seemingly over. Last night, Rita Berkowitz, an Acadian woman who was being treated in Fulfwotz, died. The 43 year old woman was the very last person exhibiting symptoms in the Shire. As the Berkowitz family mourns, the rest of the Shire celebrates the end. It is estimated that over 1.5 billion people lost their lives, nearly a third of the entire population. It will be a slow recovery for the people of the Shire.

    Many cities have re-opened their borders, although many are still considering halting travel due to the lingering possibility of more infected in more secluded locations. Seaports all across the Shire are still prohibiting entrance to their respective cities without a mandatory health screening. 

    DePrey Institute along with the SEA have samples of the virus, so that a cure can be created in case the virus mutates again. So far, around 2.8 billion people have been vaccinated for the current strain of Lymphrosis, the other .2 billion already immune. Fulfwotz has also lifted its national ban on birds, allowing many migrating birds to reenter the Empire and visit loved ones. 

    It is estimated that there was over $50 billion done in damages, due to excessive rioting and non-peaceful protests. Around 1 million people have been arrested for vandalism and attacking police officers. More people would have been arrested, if it weren't for police officers attacking rioters, who were promptly arrested and imprisoned by the rioters themselves. It will be a long and slow recovery, but a recovery nonetheless.

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Comments have been disabled for this article.



     
  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited November 2014
    ~:> Great Thanksgiving Recipes by SGN's Deana Paul ~:>



    Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching, and if you're anything like me, it's your favorite time of year! I often find myself wondering if there's anything else I can put on my table aside from the good old traditional turkey and stuffing. Well there is, stuffin'! I'm here on behalf of SGN to give you the best way to get the most out of your holiday!

    Turkey Remixed

    Ingredients

    -One turkey
    -Five pounds of butter
    -Cranberry sauce
    -Arsenic

    Steps 
    1. Place turkey in large mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly.
    2. IF the turkey has turned into a fine paste, continue. If not, resume mixing.
    3. Place 5 lbs of butter in microwave. DO NOT put in bowl. Microwave for 5 minutes.
    4. Scoop the liquified and boiling butter out of the microwave with your hands, and eat it.
    5. Mix the cranberry sauce with 5 tablespoons of arsenic, and add it to your turkey.
    6. Enjoy!

    Good Old Stuffing

    Ingredients

    -Stuffing

    Steps
    1. Leave stuffing buried in your backyard for 2-3 years.
    2. Enjoy!

    Deana's Apple Pie

    Ingredients

    -Five peeled pears
    -Three tubs of bacon fat
    -One unruly cat
    -Pie crust
    -Pie dough
    -Hard work and dedication!

    Steps
    1. Create pie outlline through a detailed series of sketches and mathematical equations.
    2. Rub .5 pounds of bacon fat on yourself, leave 2.5 pounds for the rest of your family.
    3. Turn the pears into apples.
    4. Add apples to pie filling.
    5. Take the unruly cat and show him that life isn't so hard. Add to pie.
    6. Do the lattice dough thing on top.
    7. Grate hard work and dedication on top of pie. Mix with sugar to give it enhanced flavor.
    8. Enjoy!

    Fulfwotzian Cranberry Sauce

    Ingredients

    -Fingernails of all your children
    -Strand of hair from all your siblings
    -Eyelash from all your parents
    -The clover from the knot of the old oak tree
    -One ceremonial screaming yak from Acadie
    -2 tons of cranberries

    Steps
    1. Chew all of the cranberries until they are mushed into a smooth puree. Spit them out into a large bowl.
    2. Add all of the fingernails, hair, and eyelashes into bowl. If you do not have children, siblings, parents, and/or are Batman, improvise with your own.
    3. Gently mash the clover from the knot in the old oak tree with your pinky. Add it to the bowl.
    4. Slit the throat of the Acadian ceremonial screaming yak while chanting in ancient Sammichian.
    5. Add yak to bowl.
    6. Mix thoroughly.
    7. Enjoy!
    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Esther Bricks, Acadie- I have a ceremonial screaming yak! I can't wait to try out the cranberry sauce! Now I need to have children... Can yaks and humans reproduce?

    Winnifred Banks, Oranjestad- THANKS FOR THE RECIPES DEANA!!!! I made the Turkey Remixed for my family last year. It was delicious! We all got food poisoning and a lot of other poisoning, but hoo boy was it dangerously delicious!

    Carlos Danger, Athitica- wanna see my u-no-what

    Tynnyfer Passe, Fulfwotz- I'm sorry, but my life coach only approves of eating grapes and nuts. Call me when you come up with a recipe for grape-nut-xanax pie.

    Fred Bigby, Budapest- will my neighbor's backyard work for the good old stuffing

    Post edited by Sammiches822 on
  • Maghion
    Maghion Member, Wiki Editor
    Equos opens Borders

     Upon news of last patient death, Equos borders are open to government officials only traveling to and from Equos for strictly government and business reasons. Borders may be fully opened in the coming days after further investigations. Equos is currently sending personnels from Equos University lab to isolated communities within the Shire to confirm the absence of the virus. 
  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited November 2014
    @};- Top Five Places to Raise a Family  @};-
    Diva Plavalagoona, Family and Home Columnist



    As you start to have children and enjoy the wild ride we call life, you may begin to wonder where exactly the best place to do that is located! We looked through dozens of candidates, and picked our top five in the Shire. Here's what SGN had to say.

    5. Knavobuki
    Knavobuki made number five on our list due to its cleanliness and overall city friendliness. Citizen satisfaction for Knavobuki lies at a satisfactory 96%. It is also working on a modernization project, and many teachers and humans are being replaced by emotionless robots to show that Knavobuki is a progressive and innovative society, and no longer burns women who know how to spell and are therefore witches. It is also very cheap to own a home within the town, and even cheaper to own two, for some reason.

    4. New Enderton
    The town of New Enderton is a very beautiful and clean town, and somehow immune to the extremely negative influences of the nearby city of Fulfwotz. After the plight of Lymphrosis, many houses are empty and available for you and your smiling stock photo family! The town is also known for its world-class cafes and bars, along with the gently sloping and well-manicured landscaping, cared for at midnight by withering Enpeecee slaves captured from the nearby village of Underton. But you don't ever see them, so it's not really any of your business. It also has a famous education system, perfect enough for your children to drop out of high school and aspire to be an interpretive dancer even though their father told them it was wrong and a bad decision. Well you know what? That child studied IN ACADIE, AND THEY MADE IT. AND WHO CARES IF THEY ENDED UP WORKING FOR SGN? AT LEAST I STILL KNOW HOW TO DANCE, DAD.

    3. Lamename
    Lamename is a quiet and idyllic village not far from the capital of the Shire. Nestled in a small field near the famous Cathedral District, Lamename is great for a family desiring a calm and peaceful environment to raise their children and divorce their wives and marry that 20 year old from Ayu's Pub. While your neighbors may not be the most talkative of folks, a lot of people seem to like not being forced into a half-hour conversation with their neighbor while getting the mail, and then looking for any opportunity to go back inside. Crime is almost nonexistent here, so it's a great place to start some!

    2. Brosillon
    This charming and leisurely town is a great place for your future family. With only five stormings of the Bastille in the past month, experts say life should soon return to normal in the French-influenced town. It is known for its large number of cafes and bakeries, and auditorums used strictly for reciting and performing poetry. While you may call Brosillians snobby, it's alright, because you'll soon be snobby and talk about how everyone else is just jealous. Which they obviously are. While housing may be a little more expensive in Brosillon, it's worth it when you pay $4,000 a month for your studio apartment.

    1. Fulfwotz
    We really don't know how Fulfwotz even ended up within the top one hundred cities, nevermind the top five. We had a feeling we were going to be killed if we didn't place it at number one. We'll just try to list the bonuses of living in Fulfwotz. Um... It has... Stripclubs. Not for the whole family. Just mom and dad. The kids can stay home. Actually, that's not a good idea. Tie a rope to the kids and yourself, but leave them outside the club while you go inside. If they're in trouble, tell them to pull. You know what? Just stay out of Fulfwotz if you have kids. It's expensive to live there, but people live there. For some reason. We can't tell you.

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Ronnie Gout, Acadie- i cant read do i move to fulfwtz pls helpp

    Annabelle Fizarro, Venezia- venezia belongs on this list so hard. ill have you know only three students were knifed on the UDV campus this month so far

    Mehanna Meme, Athitica-  http://imgur.com/M5dejJy LOL XDDD have u guys seen this meme b4!!!??? it my new fav im on my dads computar btw my name is rileyy wintur also im bisexul ;33

    Derek Hansen, Greenvale- open rp pls contact me @ hotsexyponyrpman@ponyforums.net
     
  • Sammiches822
    Sammiches822 Arbiter
    edited November 2014
    How Good of a Spouse are you?
    Ingrid Blasphemy, Family and Relationship Columnist



    Many people worry about if their marital quality is above-par to their significant other. If you're wondering that exact thing, SGN has put together a survey to determine just that. Take the quiz, and show your spouse the exact thing a computer told you that they could have just as easily told you themselves!

    http://goo.gl/forms/itl8KJGJJg

    ~SGN Online, helping you act like you care~
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Francis McKenner, Budapest- well im pretty sure my computer is smarter than my wife so ok

    Donke Kongg, Shai-Ling- haha i dont have a wife (or a gf [oh noes XDDDD]) but im going to take it anyway cos i know im gonna be a good husband ^-^ <333

    Mary Webster, Vashon- i dont know any of these words

    Daniel LaMontague, Monticello- what ever happened to the news 
  • Hello!

    If you are looking for your favorite SGN articles, please find our child section under "Information and Rules" on the forums home page!

    Thank you!


    PS ANDREWPO MAKE SGN ITS OWN SECTION